Tag Archives: sex scandal

I was taught in school to always cite my sources, so I plan to continue that practice here on my blog. Did I spell cite correctly? It looks kind of funny, doesn't it?

My sources are listed below.

  • Jon Stewart / The Daily Show

  • Stephen Colbert / The Colbert Report

  • Creative Loafing Atlanta

  • Jesse “The Body” Ventura

  • Dr. Slutty Poppins

The rest of the stuff comes to me in dreams
that I often believe are reality,
97.3% of the statistics I make up,

and sometimes I just lie.

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Filed under full disclosure

Obama says, "Take time to be a dad"

Seems like John Edwards
and a bunch of other politicians
are trying just a little too hard.

“Hey Leroy,
weren’t you just bitching about
other people posting retreaded
news stories?”

Yeah, but my mom called
me with this joke and told
me to post it to my blog.

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Filed under gossip

Hippie babysitters, Batman, Catwoman, and stretched out coke bottles. A love story.

I had a babysitter when I was a kid.
She was kind of a hippie type girl,
that really pissed me off to be honest.

However,
she had nice boobs,
long brown hair,
and a really sweet ass,

so I was able to get past the hippie thing.
She used to heat up coke bottles,
and stretch them out into
weird shapes.

I used to dream of being Batman,
and she was Cat Woman,
so I was doing her.

Which really explains everything to me.


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Filed under relationships

Last night she said, "Oh Leroy, I feel so down"

I told her to turn that frown right around,
and this morning she woke up aces.

Clearly,
the power of positive thinking and stuff.
Of course we did have to pause for her
to take a chocolate break, but hey,
you got to do what you got to do to keep
things all harmonious.

One of these days I’m going to marry her
and then she will be Dr. Slutty Scandal,
and then we will both be happy.

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Filed under relationships